It’s been a while since I wrote a blog post. I have to feel inspired to write, inspired to share and inspired to help others summon the motivation to change. I watch a lot of people – in the health, fitness & wellness industries especially – share posts on social media and I often think, “wow, do you really believe that?”. No judgement from me here. Just an observation. I have been guilty in the past of posting things that seem irrelevant and banal now. However, I have always tried to live my truth. At times, this has been difficult when working for companies or individuals with quite different points of view! I am glad that I have the freedom of self-expression these days. A luxury not to be taken for granted.
I’ve called this post “hiding in the shadows”. It perfectly represents the past 5 months for me, plus a lot of the past 13 years. Most people close to me know of my battles – with chronic fatigue and digestive issues. Also in my younger and late teenage years with my weight and eating. Regarding chronic fatigue and gut health, I believe that the two are intrinsically linked and I will write and speak about this often. This isn’t just personal opinion, there is now a ton of growing research to support the connection between gut health + physical + mental health. You can ask Dr. Google. I have literally seen miracles with my own health, as well as working with hundreds of clients and seeing many people in the “gut health community”, undergo remarkable transformations when following the correct “diet” for their bodies. Note “diet” means what you eat. You will also hear me write and speak about how I feel about labels in the health industry and stigma surrounding certain terms, including the word “diet”.
Anyway, I am digressing…which is another reason why I haven’t written a blog post for a while! If you know me, you could replace my middle name with “chatty”.
Hiding in the shadows…
…It’s what a lot of us have been doing our entire lives. Especially those living with “invisible illnesses” such as CFS/ME, digestive issues, pain and mental health challenges. Most people know I have had my own personal battle with CFS (I don’t like the “label” ME so I choose CFS). Most people don’t truly understand what that actually means. It’s one of those conditions that unless you have personally experienced, it’s near impossible to understand. I have to say my Mum seems to be the only person on this planet who I’ve met who hasn’t had CFS or another chronic illness, yet has the innate ability to just “get it”. If you have somebody like this in your life, then it’s truly a precious thing. Don’t take this person for granted. Before you think, well that’s because it’s my Mum, I know many people who suffer from “invisible illnesses” and don’t have this level of support from their closest family members. This blog post isn’t about that. I could write about that for days and I have done in the past. I just want you to know that if you are experiencing CFS/ME/fatigue-related challenges, then I truly believe that you can heal from these. I am living proof, like a cat with 9 lives.
This blog post isn’t about CFS. I could write about that for days and I have done in the past. I just want you to know that if you are experiencing CFS/ME/fatigue-related challenges, then I truly believe that you can heal from these. I am living proof, like a cat with 9 lives.
…Earlier this summer I experienced a pretty severe dip when trying to work on a further layer of my health. I believe that health is like an onion and we often have to work on many different layers. Let’s just say, this certain onion layer treatment didn’t go as planned in an unexpected and spectacular fashion and I was left lying in a dark room, highly sensitive to all light, including natural sunlight. If you know me, you will know I am an outdoors sun bunny and the idea of being in a darkened room is like hell to me. I am happy to say that I am now stable again, hence you being able to read this because I’m able to actually construct sentences with my brain and use a computer. It’s funny how we take things for granted or swear at our computers when they are having a meltdown of their own.
…This was also pretty sh*tty timing when I was trying to start the online business that I had wanted to start for so long. And help people in a big way.
…Perhaps you don’t resonate with the shadows I mention above…however as I said, I believe that we are all hiding in the shadows. Not just chronic illness or illness of any kind.
I want you to start identifying your shadows.
It could be illness that’s keeping you in the shadows. If so, I, more than anyone, can understand.
It could be unhappiness with your weight. Again, I can understand. If I hadn’t have thrown out old photos in a spring-clean-hissy-fit-self-denial-tantrum, I could prove to you times when I was overweight and underweight.
It could be stress, anxiety and inner turmoil. I’m starting to sound like a broken record, but again I can understand. CFS comes with plenty of stress, anxiety and inner turmoil.
It could be dissatisfaction with work, career, relationships…the list goes on.
It could be living in shadows from fear, judgement, guilt, shame or perfection. Tick, tick, tick, tick and tick!
Stepping out from the shadows…
5 months of living in the shadows again has taught me many things.
Not all of those 5 months have been lying in a dark room!
Fortunately, the past couple of months have been different kinds of shadows.
The shadows of work, focus, creation, joy, vulnerability, truth and honesty.
Part of my recent living in the shadows has been enforced by my health, brain and body.
Part of my recent living in the shadows has been due to harnessing another one of my 9 lives and working like a stealth ninja on my biggest project to date.
I am super excited to be able to share these “shadow babies” with you soon!
Are you hiding in the shadows?
I would love for you to share with me your “shadow stories” below.